Breaking News! Merckx Comeback!

In a stunning announcement Eddy Merckx has announced today that he would be making a return to the Pro peleton with the Rock Racing Team. Controversial owner Michael Ball said “As many know we were in negotiations with Axel to replace Cippo who made the biggest mistake of his career by leaving Rock Racing. Anyway I bumped into Eddy who was waiting outside to drive Axel home and we got to talking. He (Eddy) thinks the current generation of riders are soft and he wants to come back and give them a little Cannibal style beat down. I immediately saw the value in this, Eddy is the greatest cyclist ever and I am the greatest maker of pants ever. Slam dunk.” Merckx added, “After I win Flanders and Roubaix I will focus on the grand tours where I will win the overall but also all the jerseys, except the young rider jersey.”

ASO (the promoter of A Tour de France) immediately dis invited Rock Racing from A Tour de France, despite the fact that Rock racing was not invited to in the first place. Upon hearing the news team owner Ball said “You know what? I am going to put on my own Tour de France and it will be bigger, cooler, and have hotter podium girls. Oh, and it will be in Malibu.”