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Book of Revolutions 53×11 (excerpt)

…and the lord said unto Eddy “The road to my kingdom shall be ridden in thy Big Ring. Do not be tempted by the song of the 39 for that is the true number of the beast” hearing that, he rose from the saddle and smote thy enemies.



9 Responses to “Book of Revolutions 53×11 (excerpt)”

  1. ElGato says:

    Amen brother!
    On a more theological note. Is running a single ring on your crossbike a sin? It’s not really the big dog, but on the other hand you cant shift it down either.

    And we shall call them Unitarians.

    It’s a slippery slope.

  2. The Rev says:

    Good question Brother El Gato of the Sweet Line. Jesus died on the ‘cross for your sins (Campy shifters w/Shimano cranks, wheel sucking, underwear w/cycling shorts, etc). The cross bike is a vehicle of atonement and the most sacred of the velo sports, evil has no place on a ‘cross bike.
    Ride On,
    The Rev

  3. Ftrain says:

    Brother ElGato, thank you for asking the question. I too run 1 ring on my cx bike. And father, thank you for leading us to salvation… I must repent though,
    I did downshift last night, I had been drinking heavily and could not turn my pedals over anymore, the weight of the Lord on my shoulders and all…
    Is it better, Father, to downshift, or get off and walk?

  4. The Rev says:

    Brother Ftrain your question is an important one that I have pondered deeply. Nirvana is a journey and The Big Ring is the starting point:

    He who is possessed of massive wattage,
    Who has supple legs, and is concentrated,
    Who is strenuous and diligent as well,
    Will cross the flood so difficult to cross.

    Go forth on your blessed ‘cross bike and spread the word of The Big Ring and Deliverance shall be yours.
    Hail Eddy,
    The Rev

  5. Shamed says:

    Rev,

    I have sinned. My chain slipped on to the 39 when I hit pothole. Not so bad you might say, it was an accident. However, I proceeded to remain in the 39 and made the excuse that I was cooling down. How should I make amends? Should I remove the offending piece?

  6. The Rev says:

    Shamed,
    I am deeply troubled by you comment. In your word you “made the excuse”, this indicates you could have ridden The Big Ring and chose not to. You chose evil. The Big Ring can forgive if you are truely repentant. Cool down? That is what a couch and a bottle of Chimay is for.

    To cast out the demons which are robbing you of your soul, you must do the following:
    - Find the biggest steepest climb in your area and ride it in your Big Ring like you life depended on it (it does) twice.
    - Listen to Lamb of God’s “Sacrement” in it’s entirety.
    - Lube a homeless mans chain.

    There is hope for you Shamed, you must be strong and fight for your salvation.
    The Rev

  7. Neil says:

    AMEN!! I really do believe in the bike! I have been preaching about bikes for about 10 years now. I have ridden first century rides with 26 different people. They have seen the light. There is something weird about the 100 and getting people to see the light. We have a great riding group out of our local shop that is really my church. The love and support is so real. I am with you brothers and sisters!!

  8. Neil says:

    I would argue that there is no slippery slope here. You ride… you get it. You are experiencing spiritual transformation!

  9. Jamey Schwartz says:

    I had a dream last night brothers. and though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I feared no evil. For I have a Big Ring.

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