The Church of the Big Ring » chris horner

Road Season Summary

The Rev — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:52:24 +0000

Since if have been MIA since the start of A Tour of France I thought I would blurt out a few sentence fragments about my thoughts on the pro road season since then. Here goes:

-Schlecks need to learn to win
-Cadel has the heart of a lion
-Gilbert is a honey badger
-Contador actually showed some class at A Tour
-Tour of Utah was awesome!
-Real Cyclist team should have been in the Colorado race(whatever the heck they ended up naming it)
-UCI and USAC need to be destroyed and rebuilt with people who care about the sport
-Saw my first Cross Vegas, it rocked
-Levi may be bland and boring but he gets results and really could give a shit what we think
-If I have to say Leo-pard Trek then I am also going to say Rad-e-o Shack
-Horner has shit luck, hope he stays healthy for next year.
-Basso can’t hang without the dope
-Was there a Vuelta this year?

Bring on cyclocross!

Gravity Storm

The Rev — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 02:49:28 +0000

What in the hell is going on over in France? I have not seen much of the coverage the past two stages but seriously all these crashes are nuts. This is what happens when you have basically no selective stages in the first week, 50 guys separated by 15 seconds. Now even the no hoper teams like Saur-Sojasun (bet you can’t name a single rider there without Google) think they need to be on the front. 200 guys in le Tour, they all can’t be up front. Anyway that is my 2 cents on that.

You all know I like to shovel the shit at The Shack and Sky but I hope you all see that it is tongue in cheek. They both kind of set themselves up for it and I could not really call myself a smart ass if I didn’t jump all over that shit. Right? I take no joy in seeing Horner and Wiggo have to leave the race. They are good dudes I am sure and I don’t wish crashing on anyone (except Ricco, that guy is poison). So no joke, I hope those guys heal up fast and can salvage some late season races.

Bruyneel Phoning It In

The Rev — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 17:10:37 +0000

by Big Ring Pseudo News Network

Team Radioshack manager Johan Bruyneel has confirmed he no longer gives a shit. A man described (by himself) as the greatest DS ever today announced he is sending 4 team leaders to A Tour de France. As expected Levi Leipheimer who amazed the cycling world by participating in every stage of the Tour de Suisse was named first co-co-co-co-leader and will be looking to improve on his Top 20 finish from last year. In related news Aspen food cart Cache Cache announced in honor of Levi they are offering a limited edition Ham and Swiss featuring hand sliced Wonder Bread and mayo (mustard is too flashy according to Cache Cache management) dubbed The Finisher which will be available through July for only $24.95(+tip).

Andreas Kloden has had some good results in some non descript races this season. Bruyneel added “Andreas is a committed Masters racer and ads a lot of depth and experience, plus he is from Germany so you know he is good “. Should one of the other 3 falter Kloden is expected to be near the top 20.

Chris Horner who declared himself the 2nd or 3rd best rider in the world after winning the Tour of California earlier in the year is probably “The Shack’s” best hope for a top 10 finish. According to Bruyneel “Horner has designed his own build up to A Tour and has really been putting it to the tri geeks in San Diego.”

Janez Brajkovic rounds out the leadership for “The Shack”. Assuming he meet’s the UCI minimum weight limit he is a likely finisher as well. Last year he was able to beat Alberto Contador in a post tour crit so he could be a dark horse.

The final 5 riders will be determined by a Facebook poll. Bruyneel says he is looking forward to seeing the final roster. When asked if it is hard to stay motivated after all these years Bruyneel had this to say. “Yes it was great when Lance was on top and we knew what to expect but you have to be creative. 2 years ago we had Contador to undermine which kept everyone on edge. Last year we pretended to support Levi after Lance cracked. This year we have more leaders than ever before and will no doubt win the Masters competition.”

Giro Big Ring

The Rev — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:54:28 +0000

Big Ring:
-Team Columbia taking the TTT. Good to see some trash talking between the US teams. When teams compete, fans win.
-Di Luca taking ownership of the Giro. Most notably in stage 4 when he rode the last 100m like a possesed Montauk Monster and said he won with a cold heart.
-Horner – riding like he belongs, cause he does.

Not Big Ring:
-The paint job on Armstrong’s bike. A bit busy for our liking.
-Brother Boonen. Sniff sniff.
-The Dope Show – Valverde, Frieberg, Kloden…what next?

Big Ring Site of the Week: www.cyclinghalloffame.net

Why Big Ring: A little history is good for the soul, some interactive content, racer links, race calendar section, race results, descriptions of rides around the world, biographies of cycling legends, statistical analysis, and birthdays. Good stuff. Check it out.

Ask and You Shall Receive

The Rev — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:01:51 +0000

That was some showdown today ya? For someone who supposedly can’t climb Cancellara did a pretty good job of shelling most of the peloton. It was painful to watch, I can’t imagine what it would be like to follow that monster. Then to have Andy Schleck covering all the attacks after Sastre went away, it was a CSC clinic out there today.

I think Cadel is going to lose. He put 1:20 on Sastre in the first TT and now he is 1:34 behind. Sastre is not terrible against the clock. I think he will ride the TT of his life and hold off Cadel. Nice try Cadel but I think you rode too defensive and are a little over confident in your TT. I guess we will see.

I Cadels defense he kinda had to just follow wheels since he had zero team mates on any of the final climbs. If he wins this tour he will be lucky. Lotto has to shell out some $$$ and get him some help in the mountains. Horner did a much better job last year than Popovich has done for Cadel this year. They should have kept Horner around for another year. Lotto has failed Cadel and failed McEwen for that matter.

Vande Velde, damn that crash yesterday.