The Church of the Big Ring » Tour de France

Road Season Summary

The Rev — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:52:24 +0000

Since if have been MIA since the start of A Tour of France I thought I would blurt out a few sentence fragments about my thoughts on the pro road season since then. Here goes:

-Schlecks need to learn to win
-Cadel has the heart of a lion
-Gilbert is a honey badger
-Contador actually showed some class at A Tour
-Tour of Utah was awesome!
-Real Cyclist team should have been in the Colorado race(whatever the heck they ended up naming it)
-UCI and USAC need to be destroyed and rebuilt with people who care about the sport
-Saw my first Cross Vegas, it rocked
-Levi may be bland and boring but he gets results and really could give a shit what we think
-If I have to say Leo-pard Trek then I am also going to say Rad-e-o Shack
-Horner has shit luck, hope he stays healthy for next year.
-Basso can’t hang without the dope
-Was there a Vuelta this year?

Bring on cyclocross!

Colonist Declares Independence, Again!

The Rev — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 17:11:58 +0000

USA!

That’s How You Do It!

The Rev — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 03:15:37 +0000

How many people can make Spartacus look silly in the last K of a race? Gilbert is on freaking fire right now. I don’t think this is the last stage he is going to win in this Tour. For me the surprise of the day was Cadel Evans, really solid finish from him. Hopefully a sign of things to come, especially with the head start Contador is giving everyone.

Go buy sone stuff from RealCyclist, I have bills to pay!

Bruyneel Phoning It In

The Rev — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 17:10:37 +0000

by Big Ring Pseudo News Network

Team Radioshack manager Johan Bruyneel has confirmed he no longer gives a shit. A man described (by himself) as the greatest DS ever today announced he is sending 4 team leaders to A Tour de France. As expected Levi Leipheimer who amazed the cycling world by participating in every stage of the Tour de Suisse was named first co-co-co-co-leader and will be looking to improve on his Top 20 finish from last year. In related news Aspen food cart Cache Cache announced in honor of Levi they are offering a limited edition Ham and Swiss featuring hand sliced Wonder Bread and mayo (mustard is too flashy according to Cache Cache management) dubbed The Finisher which will be available through July for only $24.95(+tip).

Andreas Kloden has had some good results in some non descript races this season. Bruyneel added “Andreas is a committed Masters racer and ads a lot of depth and experience, plus he is from Germany so you know he is good “. Should one of the other 3 falter Kloden is expected to be near the top 20.

Chris Horner who declared himself the 2nd or 3rd best rider in the world after winning the Tour of California earlier in the year is probably “The Shack’s” best hope for a top 10 finish. According to Bruyneel “Horner has designed his own build up to A Tour and has really been putting it to the tri geeks in San Diego.”

Janez Brajkovic rounds out the leadership for “The Shack”. Assuming he meet’s the UCI minimum weight limit he is a likely finisher as well. Last year he was able to beat Alberto Contador in a post tour crit so he could be a dark horse.

The final 5 riders will be determined by a Facebook poll. Bruyneel says he is looking forward to seeing the final roster. When asked if it is hard to stay motivated after all these years Bruyneel had this to say. “Yes it was great when Lance was on top and we knew what to expect but you have to be creative. 2 years ago we had Contador to undermine which kept everyone on edge. Last year we pretended to support Levi after Lance cracked. This year we have more leaders than ever before and will no doubt win the Masters competition.”

Team Clinic

The Rev — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:30:18 +0000

Looks like Big George learned a thing or two riding for Bruyneel. Today his Columbia-HRC team used one of Bruyneels favorite tactics by putting it in the gutter to see who come to race. Lance did. Contador? I guess he was confident Paulinho could close the gap. Garmin, Lotto, ~~Saxo Bank~~ all got caught flat footed with no one in the front group. In the end it was only 40 seconds but those are 40 seconds that a guy like Cadel (whose team will get blasted tomorrow) will have to make up somewhere.

I think the quote of the day was Cavendish on Velonews “some teams wanna ride like juniors, they wanna save themselves. In the end they got the results of juniors”. Brilliant, I am really starting to like that guy.

So what are your predictions for the Stage that Astana goes all La Vie Claire?

53:11

————–

Don’t get caught on the wrong side of the sweet deals at Bonktown.com

Tour Awards

The Rev — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:30:23 +0000

I am pretty stoked that Sastre was able to hold off Cadel in the final TT. Cadel, man if you are gonna follow wheels the best you can hope for is 2nd. Ya I know his team sucked the big one but he should have been driving it for all he was worth on Alpe d’Huez. No way he should have let him get that much time without going all out to at least try and bring some seconds back. He rode the entire Tour defensively. As much as Sastre went out and took the yellow jersey, Evans let him do it.

Anyway here are the official Big Ring awards for le Tour:

The Chuck D Don’t Believe The Hype Award: The run away winner here is Alejandro Valverde. After scaring the hell out of every one at LBL and Dauphine many (me included) thought he would run wild in France. His Stage 1 V did little to dispute that prediction. What no one saw coming was his meltdown on the Hautacam which truely put him in the Segway category of can’t miss, idiot proof, predictions that did miss. Adios podium!

Cippo Who?/Petacchi is a Pansy Award: Former ballroom dancer (?) Mark Cavendish sashayed across the finish line to the tune of 4 stage wins. Ya, he didn’t make the Last Tango in Paris, but he is only 22 and his best years and a Green jersey are coming.

The Wedding Crashers: I am sure when ASO invited Garmin/Chipotle they were thinking they were a novelty act with a strong anti drug message that would sit quietly in the pack and stay out of the way of the “real” racing. Vaughters and Co responded like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn cutting in line at the open bar. Had it not been for an untimely crash Vande Velde might have run off with the new bride and the keys to the honeymoon suite.

The WTF? Award: Bernard Kohl was not a name I heard anyone mention as a podium contender, yet after 3 weeks of wondering when he will come to his senses and crack he never did. Honorable mention to Stefan Schumacher for proving his 1st TT win was no fluke by going out and winning the 2nd one as well. Seriously WTF?

The Big Ring Award: The whole CSC team wins this one. Sastre got to stand on the final podium but the selfless riding of the entire CSC team got him there. The damage Cancellara did on the Alpe d’Huez stage was jaw dropping. Schleck 1 and Schleck 2 were nails in the mountains. Frank Schleck could have just as easy ended up in Yellow that day but Sastre made the move that Cadel didn’t follow. Bad for Cadel, good for Sastre and CSC.

Burrito Power

The Rev — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:06:44 +0000

Yesterday I got to see some actual Tour de France coverage on the TV. Hot damn that was some stage yesterday. How many matches di Andy Schleck burn on that climb? CSC certainly has the numbers. Now they have the pressure of defending Yellow.

Poor Cadel is going to learn to late that you can’t wear yellow in Paris by following. Good God man just attack for a change! At least ry to win the damn thing. I guess no one ever told Cadel that to win you have to risk losing. I think he really dodged a bullet when Menchov crashed and they waited for him(which was a classy move). Otherwise I think he would have got popped sooner and lost a lot more time than he did. I also think he is banking too much on the final TT as he did not take much time out of Menchov or Vandevelde in the first one.

I was so hoping Pate could pull of the W. Garmin/Chipotle has certainly pushed The Big Ring proving they deserve to be at the big show. Podiums by Frishkorn, Millar and now Pate. Vandevelde continues to impress and has a real shot at winning the whole damn thing. I am off for Le Burrito.

Whoa, Didn’t See That Coming!

The Rev — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:03:39 +0000

You know as much as I want to hate A Tour and write it off the racing is just too damn good. If you had asked yesterday who would win the TT today I would have said Cancellara without even blinking. Schumacher? Damn, would not have guessed that in a million years. Also looks like Evans is going to do his best to make a liar out of me yet as he took a big chunk out of Valverde today. How about Chipotle/Garmin with 2 podiums in 2 days. I am gonna go program the GPS and ride over to Chipotle for “Le Burrito” tonight.

What can I say? Viva la France! I may have to take El Hammermeisters advice and get a dish when I get back from Downieville. Speaking of Downieville, anyone have tire recomendations? I have been running some 1.9 Kenda Karmas but, I think a fatter one would be better. Just guessing though since I have never done the race. Any insight would be appreciated.

Bike Racin’ and Such

The Rev — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:14:37 +0000

This past weekend here in the 801 we had our Mountainbike State Championships of The World. Yeah, I got worked. Still though, it is the first time my slack ass has raced in the dirt this year. So even as I was getting beaten down faster than the US dollar I was pretty happy about it. Followed it up with a BBQ at the Big Ring Compound. Not a bad way to spend the day.

A Tour de France started this weekend. Gotta admit I have yet to see a stage as I have never had (and never will) had cable. I have been following it online and ate “Le Burrito” at Chipolte today. Despite it’s problems it is still the big show as far as the skinny tire portion of our sport. It does have most of the best riders and is still a big spectacle.

I think Valverde is the man for this year and the 1st stage did nothing to change my mind. I like Cadel but I just don’t think he races well under pressure. Back in his MTB days he only won when he was the strongest guy of the day and just ran away with it. He still seems like that on the road. He just does not seem to find that little bit extra when it is close. I hope he can pull it off but, I just don’t see a weakness in Valverde.

It has been a long time since I have said this but, Trek has a pretty cool idea here. With gas not coming down in price anytime soon (ever) more and more Americans will look to the bike as a means of transportation and vending machines are something that everyone knows how to use. Ideas like this will make cycling seem like less of a fringe sport and something that anyone can do. Plus, how sweet will it be to be able to buy a tube at 1am when you pinch flat after casing your rear wheel into a curb riding home from the pub?

A Little Much?

The Rev — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:00:49 +0000

So I know I came down pretty hard on Brother Boonen yesterday. Flahute has shared some good insights on the subject and it made me think why I got so upset. To put it simply drugs suck. I have seen too many talented people destroy themselves and everyone around them with drugs. Simple experimentation is one thing. I can’t tell you not to do something and expect you to listen. Everyone needs to decide for themselves what is appropriate for them. I have never done anything stronger than a Chimay as for me it seemed there was a lot more downside than upside (can you tell I work in the stock market?). For others they need to try it and see for themselves. Nothing wrong with that. It just seems Brother Boonen did not do a very careful risk reward study before pulling the trigger.

I am happy to see he is taking it like the man I have always hoped he is. To the surprise of no one the snail eaters at A Tour of France have banned him from the race. Nice move Frenchy. Only in France could a convicted drug cheat, liar and garden variety douche like Richard Virenque be considered a hero. If the ASO had any balls at all, they would strip that jack ass of the climber jersey’s he stole before his drug conviction. Brother Boonen, I hope you can find what you are looking for.

How about Georgie boy? Somehow I missed that yesterday. To be honest after I read the Boonen headline I stopped reading all cycling pages. Like I said over reaction. Anyway good to see Big George win something.